Weddings are a celebration of love, but they can also be a powerful statement about your values. For many couples, a feminist wedding is about creating a day that reflects equality, inclusivity, and personal choice—rather than outdated traditions that reinforce gender roles. If you’re wondering how to plan a feminist wedding, this is my guide to help you design a day that truly represents you and your relationship.
What is a Feminist Wedding?
A feminist wedding challenges traditional expectations and prioritises equality, inclusivity, and authenticity. It’s about making choices that feel right for you rather than following traditions just because they’re expected. Whether it’s rewriting vows, walking down the aisle together, or ditching outdated terminology, a feminist wedding is about celebrating your love on your own terms.
1. Rethink Wedding Traditions
Many wedding traditions are rooted in patriarchal history. You don’t have to ditch them all, but you can consider reimagining them in a way that aligns more with your values:
- The Proposal: Who says one partner has to propose? Some couples propose to each other, plan a mutual proposal, or even skip the proposal altogether and simply make the decision together.
- Getting Ready: Why spend the night before the wedding day apart from each other? If that’s not something you want to do, then don’t! Spend the morning getting ready together, go for a wedding morning walk or sea swim together, grab a coffee together before you walk down the aisle, or meet at your venue just before the ceremony and have a special moment together.
- Walking Down the Aisle: Instead of being ‘given away,’ you could walk down the aisle together, walk solo, or be accompanied by both parents or chosen loved ones.
- Changing Your Name: Keeping your name, hyphenating, or creating a new last name together are all feminist choices that reject the expectation that one partner must give up their identity.
2. Write Your Own Vows
Traditional wedding vows often include phrases like “I promise to…” which many couples choose to replace with words that reflect their equal partnership. Writing your own vows allows you to focus on mutual respect, shared goals, and partnership rather than traditional gender roles.
3. Choose a Feminist Officiant
The person officiating your wedding sets the tone for your ceremony. Look for someone who supports your values and can craft a ceremony that celebrates equality and the two of you together. Some couples choose a friend or family member to lead the ceremony to ensure what’s being said aligns with their beliefs.
4. Create an Inclusive Wedding Party
Ditch the outdated idea that only women can be bridesmaids and only men can be groomsmen. Have a mixed-gender wedding party, let people wear what makes them feel comfortable, and scrap traditional roles in favour of celebrating the people who matter most to you.
5. Split Wedding Costs Fairly
Historically, the bride’s family was expected to pay for the wedding, but that tradition comes from a time when women were treated as property. Today, many couples split costs equally, contribute based on individual financial situations, or have both families contribute fairly.
6. Support Women-Owned and LGBTQ+-Friendly Vendors
A feminist wedding also means being conscious of where your money goes. Seek out venues, florists, dress designers, and caterers who are women-owned or LGBTQ+-inclusive to ensure your wedding supports businesses that align with your values.
7. Have a Non-Traditional First Dance
Not into the idea of the groom leading the bride in a first dance? Ditch it! Whether you choreograph something fun together, invite all couples to join in, or skip it entirely, your first dance should feel right for you.
8. Focus on Meaningful Wedding Speeches
Instead of a traditional ‘father-of-the-bride and best man speeches only’, invite anyone who wants to speak—mothers, friends, or even both partners. Let your speeches reflect a range of voices and perspectives from all of the special people in your life.
9. Consider a Charitable Registry
Instead of a traditional gift registry, some couples ask for donations to charities that support women’s rights, LGBTQ+ advocacy, or other causes close to their hearts.
10. End with an Equal Partnership
Ultimately, a feminist wedding is just the beginning of an equal marriage. Set the tone for your partnership by having conversations about the values that will define your relationship moving forward. And let your wedding be a celebration of that!
Let’s Create Gender Neutral Wedding Traditions!
A feminist wedding isn’t about rejecting tradition—it’s about making intentional choices that align with your values. Whether you embrace all of these ideas or just a few, the most important thing is that your wedding reflects your love, your equality, and your shared future.
Looking for a wedding photographer who gets your vision? Get in touch—I’d love to help you capture your unique celebration!
